cim | Transplant to Ironman

Just a quick update since people are asking, which I totally appreciate. Nothing really new. Labs were a little bit worse, but we still have a while before transplant. Basically I’m sick, but not quite sick enough.

The last two months have been pretty rough. I’ve been really sick. I had a tooth infection and actually had to have the tooth pulled. A week later I got a weird flu. Tuck had it the week before so I figured I would get it since I snuggled with him for two days. Oh and the kid always drinks out of my cup. URG! My flu lasted much longer of course. Then I had another weird infection from getting my tooth pulled. Let me just say how fantastic it is to be immuno suppressed. URG! It’s so not. It was one thing after another. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t work out, basically I just slept and just tried to get through the day.

Before all of this, I was all on track to run CIM this year. I had ran 11 miles, been going to CrossFit and felt really good. Then September hit. CIM was my only race I had still planned on racing this entire year. I thought I could still at least do this one since my mileage was still good and I thought I could walk most of it if I needed to. Not now. I’m out. CIM is my absolute favorite race to do. The good news is Chloe and Eric are doing the relay so I’ll be out there on race day being the loudest spectator ever.

When I came to the realization that I couldn’t do CIM, it was tough. I was already struggling with just not feeling good. Then add the fact that I was missing a tooth and having to wear a retainer with a fake tooth. (Yes, I’m totally laughing at this now). And then add the fact that some of the hair around my cancer spots on the top of my head was growing back and sticking straight up. I was sick, toothless, and had really bad hair. I felt like a complete mess and I looked like a mess too. I really just wanted to sleep and not see or talk to anyone. So add this crap on top of not being able to race all year or maybe even next year, it’s just sucked.

I eventually stopped feeling sorry for myself. I started feeling better. I’m running again and back to CrossFit (when work doesn’t get in the way) and making fun of my toothless smile. Oh and my hair looks good again. Whew!

This waiting and the unknown totally sucks ass! It’s put a weird hold on my life. I take life one month at a time. Sometimes one day at a time. There are days when I feel like I just can’t even move. Then I have days when I feel like a completely normal person. I’m so grateful for my family for taking on more than they should right now. I did book a trip to Hawaii in a couple of months so hopefully I still feel good enough by then to be able to go. We are all excited to have something to look forward to and something to take our minds off this dumb kidney thing.

And I’m sorry to disappoint you all but I have no pictures of my toothless smile or my bald head. You can just imagine it. That should be enough to keep you laughing a little bit.